Isn't it amazing how our perspectives can change when you become a parent? As I was growing up, I associated rules with control, or lack there of. Most people who knew me growing up knew that I often had to turn down invitations because my mom said "no". Now that I have children, I understand her concerns and reasoning behind not allowing me to go to parties, stressing about grades, telling me what not to wear, etc. I saw it as having no control of my own life and her not wanting me to have any fun. She knew the possible consequences for those choices and viewed my restrictions as helping me avoid painful consequences. (If you're familiar with Love and Logic parenting/teaching, my mom would have been considered both a Drill Sergeant AND a Helicopter parent.)
The same holds true for the rules God gives us in the Bible. However, the difference between my well-meaning mom and God is He doesn't make them up in an attempt to control the outcomes of our lives, they are given to us because He knows the consequences of those actions and loves us enough to warn us. Lets take the 10 commandments, for example.
1. I am the Lord your God, you shall have no other Gods before me. What are the consequences of setting priorities or "gods" higher than our Lord God? What if you value money more than God? What if you value your self image more than God? The consequences are often continual dissatisfaction and eventually self destruction. When money is more important than God, you lose sight of the value of all the other things he has given you: health, family, friends, food, etc. When external image is more important to you than God, you are blinded to the natural beauty He has created in you and spend your time changing what He created. You were made in His image, you are beautiful.
2. Do not use the Lord's name in vain. To understand this, you must understand the word "vain" in this context. In this verse (Ex20:7) the Hebrew word or root for "vain" is "shav", meaning emptiness, vanity, deceit, lies, or falsehood. So, then, what would be consequences of using God's name with emptiness or falsehood, being deceptive? You will lose your integrity, and people will not trust you. How many issues in our world today are directly related to a lack of trust in people, businesses, communities or organizations?
3. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. This is important for a lot of reasons, I feel. If you take one day a week to focus on and study God's word, maybe you'd learn to listen to Him and hear what he's telling you. So often we get caught up in cleaning house, sports tournaments, or paperwork we need to get done for the boss back at the office, that we find ourselves too busy to listen to whatever God's trying to tell us. Also, studies show that people are much more effective and efficient at work when they've had some time to decompress. I know that when I was a public school teacher, I was much more energized and ready to face a classroom of needy children after one of our breaks. Life is physically and emotionally draining- allowing yourself one day with God, will refresh you for the days to come.
4. Honor your father and mother. This command is not just saying "always do what your parents tell you", per say. It's basically saying not to be an embarrassment to your parents. Act in a way which will make your parents proud. Why is this important? Personally speaking, I can remember a time in my life where I was "finding myself." I was pretty much doing the opposite of this commandment. Let me tell you, it was pretty stressful on me trying to cover up what I didn't want my parents to know and stressful on my relationship with my parents. If you don't have a good relationship with your parents, for whatever reason, you know how difficult and complicated it can make life. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and started dating 10 years ago. This past weekend, my mom found out for the first time that I had met my husband on the internet. It wasn't something I thought my parents would approve of, and therefore took a lot of fibs, stories and awkward conversations to keep them from finding out. Coincidentally, this fib was happening at the same time as the fore-mentioned "finding myself" period on the timeline of my life... so I had quite a few stories I had to keep straight when talking with my parents. Would my life have been less stressful if I'd stuck to doing the things that I could tell my parents about? You bet!
5. Do not kill. Interesting that this one is also a "law of the land"... For people who don't believe in God, where do they get the moral standing of killing is wrong? That's a whole different post in and of itself! Likewise, a whole blog post could be on the relationship between this commandment, abortions and birth control. Let's keep it simple and narrow it down to what we should all agree is murder... ending the life of a person. (Again, we'll leave the "when does life begin" argument for another time). What are the consequences of killing? You go to jail, and depending on which state you live in, you could be put to death "humanely". Chances are you'd also have some major psychological issues added on to whatever issues you had that caused you to commit murder in the first place. Not only are you affected, but the family and friends of the person that was killed would have a lot of emotional stress which can lead to financial stress.
6. Do not commit adultery. In Exodus, the command is simply "don't commit adultery". But what qualifies as adultery? The obvious answer is sleeping/sex with someone who is married or with someone other than your spouse if you are married. However, in Matthew 5:28, we are told that even having lustful thoughts about someone that is not our spouse is also considered adultery. So, that means if a "hot chick" or "hot guy" walks by and your mind says "wow, I wonder how he/she is in bed" you've committed adultery, even if you didn't actually sleep with them. Keeping a pure mind makes a wedded relationship run much more smoothly. Married couples already have other things to argue about: money, in-laws, parenting styles, etc. Unfortunately, the act of adultery has created a wedge in many marriages. Spouses become unable to trust each other; wondering if their husband or wife is really where they say they are or with who they say they're with. Divorce is usually the outcome of infidelity, and that creates a whole truckload of baggage, especially if there are children involved.
7. Do not steal. Another "law of the land" like commandment #5. Not only will you end up in jail (or at least a court record of some sort, depending on your age and the value of the stolen goods), you will end up not being trusted. I've also noticed that people are much more willing to help out someone in need with integrity, than someone who steals to get what they want.
8. Do not give false testimony against your neighbor. In Exodus, the word used for "neighbor" is "rea". When this word is used other places in the Bible, it is interchangeable with "friend, companion, fellow, another, husband, lover, mate, opponent and neighbor". "Testimony" and "witness" are also interchangeable here. In short, don't make up lies about people. Those people are all people, not just your friends or the people who live next to you. When you make up lies or spread gossip about people, others will not respect you, you will not be a trusted confidant, and you may end up with no friends. Some lies can actually ruin the lives of those about whom the lie was spoken.
9. Do not covet your neighbor's house, and 10. Do not covet your neighbor's wife, servants, ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. These two I'm putting together because of the same general theme... do not be jealous of things that other people have, and you don't. The old saying goes "The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence". I recently saw a quote on Oola's Facebook page that is related to this commandment: "Jealousy comes from counting others' blessings instead of your own." You will never be happy with what you have if you're constantly comparing yourself, your things, and your life to others. People who are not grateful for what they have often find themselves ruining relationships and even their health to get what someone else has. Setting goals is wonderful, but the motivation behind those goals needs to be genuine, not because "life will be better when I have (fill in the blank) like (fill in a name)".
There are many other "dos" and "don'ts" throughout the Bible, all of which have been given to us to prevent us from having to go through pain and heartache... drunkenness, homosexuality, foods to eat and foods to avoid, laziness, etc. Literally every aspect of our daily life can be guided by the "rules" God gave us in the Bible. From the moment we wake up to the time we drift off to sleep, our choices can either make life easier (by following "the rules") or create a struggle for ourselves and/or others (by not following "the rules"). Even the best of us struggle with one or two issues. Luckily, He loves us no matter how many rules we break or how messed up we've caused our lives to be!
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