the Mother's Day garden

Saturday we had Debbie, a friend of my grandma's, come to our home to help us start a garden. She brought her sod cutter, shovel, rake, edger and even a few seedlings to get us started. Debbie was here and already moving dirt before I even had the kids dressed. My intention was to have Debbie be the instructor or site manager while the girls and I did the work. Well, by the time I got out there with the girls, Debbie had already gotten the first row of  "sod" removed and was turning the dirt. Her sod cutter wasn't terribly helpful since there wasn't much grass where she decided the best place for the garden was, just weeds. I felt kind of in her way trying to help remove the grass/weeds, so I ended up bringing wheelbarrow loads of mulch from a tree we had ground up last year and black dirt we had brought in. The mulch had already started the decaying process, so made for an excellent addition to the garden dirt.

While we were working in the dirt, I had mentioned to her that I had some dresses from my grandma that my great aunts had worn as children. I want to get formal pictures of my daughters wearing them, but they need a little TLC before they are photographed. Since Debbie is so knowledgeable in so many areas, I thought to ask her about them. She said I might take them to a dry cleaners, but if they are too frail, the dry cleaner might not even take them. Apparently she had some velvet curtains that were refused because the dry cleaner didn't want to be responsible for any damage that might be done due to their fragile fabric. Then she said, "The sun is great for things like growing plants, but bad for lots of other things, like curtains, furniture, etc." I chuckled and replied, "Kind of like children. They're not good for furniture, walls or carpets either." Being the wise woman that she is, she reminded me how precious children are too. "I have a daughter who has done many things, has a good paying job, and travels all over. She has no children. I would not trade her for her life. My mother-in-law had 13 children, an outhouse and no running water. She had to travel half a mile to get fresh water. I think it was that she liked to play that kept her sane. Without children, you have nothing really to look back on, no memories."

Debbie ended up staying and working in our garden until almost 2pm. I had brought the girls in the house for lunch and naps shortly after noon. When the girls were in their beds for a rest, I fed and rocked the twins. The whole time I was rocking, I was thinking about Debbie's love for my children, the patience she showed as the girls were getting in the way or grabbing the tools, and the wisdom she shared about the value of children.

In church that afternoon, the sermon was about how we can share our faith with others. It was suggested that we share our "coming to God" story; our life event that made us choose God regardless if we had grown up with religion or not. Well, my children are my faith story. My mother-in-law often reminds me of when I would talk about how frustrated I was that I couldn't conceive. Matt and I had been married for a couple years before we started trying to get pregnant. Then, when we started trying, it was month after month of disappointment. My mom had a hard time conceiving, so I assumed that I would also have that burden. My doctor confirmed that based on my cycle (or lack there of) and the multiple cysts I had on my ovaries, that I might end up having to use fertility drugs to aid in getting me pregnant. Both my husband and I grew up in Christian families. I'm grateful that our parents gave us a Christian foundation to fall back on. However, when I moved away to college, God was the last thing on my mind. Matt and I got married in my home church, but didn't really attend church often. After about a year of trying, I finally asked God. I begged and bargained. I remember praying, "Please, if you let me have a child, I will give it to You to use as Samson's mother gave him to you. They can be like little disciples, bringing others to You too." Then I began to feel more at peace with not having any children. I thought, if I'm not getting pregnant, I guess God's got other plans. Matt and I started looking into adoption or foster parenting. It was about then that I also felt the need to find a new "home church" where we lived, since we lived more than 2 hours away from where either of us grew up. I thought that if I were to get pregnant, we would need a place to get him or her baptized. So I set out on a mission to find a church that Matt and I could call home and raise our children. Then, in the beginning of the year, 4 years ago, I found out that I was finally pregnant. Since then, I have had 3 wonderful pregnancies and given birth to 4 wonderful children. They are the reason I try to better myself. I promised God, that if I could have children of my own, I would do my best to lead them to Him so that they could also lead others to Him. I have 4 little disciples now, and I am not the perfect disciple myself; so, I have lots of praying to do! God is good!

Here are some photos of my little blessings helping in our new garden and putting mulch in the wheel barrow:

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Chicken Nuggets and Bean Soup

The girls (my 2 and 3 year olds) helped make chicken nuggets. We used this recipe and they turned out great! The outside was crispy and the inside was moist and juicy. We used Kix cereal instead of bread crumbs and rice flour as our "all purpose flour". I had enough of the coating/crumbs left that I added 2 more eggs and another cup or so of milk to make a thick batter. I also mixed in some garlic salt and dried basil. Then I put clumps of the batter on a cookie sheet and baked them. They made delicious biscuits! My daughters loved helping crush up the cereal for the coating. A gallon sized plastic storage bag worked well to contain the cereal as it was pounded and crushed. The plastic toy hammer the girls started with made it fun, but wasn't very effective. On the other hand, the rolling pin was very effective and the girls enjoyed using that as well.  They seemed pretty proud to be able to tell Daddy that they helped make dinner. When I wasn't looking, though, my 3 year old took a chunk out of one of the uncooked chicken breast pieces. I freaked out when I'd realized what she'd done. I had her wash her hands and gargle mouthwash. Afterwards, she told me she didn't like the mouthwash and she won't eat chicken anymore unless it's cooked. I guess if she forgets how to make chicken nuggets, at least she'll remember they have to be cooked first!

Tonight we made black bean soup. My husband loves the black bean soup that one of our local businesses makes every Christmas to share with people in town. However, that only happens once a year. So I decided to try my hand at it. This is the recipe I used. At first it smelled as if I had added way too much garlic, but it ended up turning out great. I used chopped garlic from the jar, not fresh. I also was lazy and decided to throw the green pepper and the onion in the Magic Bullet. So instead of adding finely chopped green pepper and onion, I added a puree. Next time I will probably soak the beans for an extra few hours. I started soaking them in the afternoon yesterday and started cooking the soup around noon today. There were still a few beans that weren't soft all the way through and the soup didn't get as thick as I would've liked. When I served the soup, I realized that we had used the last of the sour cream when we'd grilled chicken and potatoes this weekend. However, I did have half a carton of plain yogurt. I've heard of people substituting yogurt for sour cream, so we gave it a shot. My husband was very doubtful that he'd like it, but he ended up loving it. Maybe there is still hope to converting him to a healthy eater!

Kids Today

I don't think I mentioned it in earlier posts, so if you are following this blog and gradually getting to know me, you may be about to learn something new :-) I am a certified special education teacher (at least for now). My certification will expire in a couple months and I have not applied for a recertification simply because I do not want to spend money on something that I do not intend on needing in the near future. However, I still do occasionally substitute teach in a couple local school districts. I still love teaching and sharing information with kids, so substituting once or twice a month gives me that opportunity. This week I stood in for a high school teacher. I was just blown away by some of the conversations I heard and the words coming from the mouths of those young people. It broke my heart to hear them talk about their experiences with sex or parties or bullies. One young man told a young lady in the class about his "first time" and how he'd cried afterwards because he felt like a bad kid. This tells me that in his core he knows that sex should be reserved for your spouse. I pray that the experience he had gives him the will power to overcome the temptation, should the opportunity of sex ever present itself, and the wisdom to avoid situations that can lead to that temptation.
After overhearing that conversation, I of course, immediately thought of my own children. How am I going to emphasize to them how important it is to preserve your purity for your future spouse? God doesn't just tell us to preserve ourselves to make life difficult for us, He knows the heartache that often happens when sex happens out of wedlock and wants to protect us from that suffering. (Boy, I am so much more wise now than I was before having children of my own!) Isn't it amazing how your perspective changes when you have children of our own?!
One thing that the Praying Parent book taught me is that it's never too early to start praying for our children, even in areas of life that seem so distant. My oldest is only 3, but after hearing what I did in that high school classroom, you'd better bet your bottom dollar that I will be praying from now on that my children value themselves and their purity enough that they wait for their spouse.
Another thing I have done is noticed how many innuendos are said in front of our children. My husband and I are married, but we still "flirt". I have noticed that some of the comments we make, assuming our children don't know what we're talking about, are not appropriate. Although it can be taken as a complement when my husband says something about his physical attraction to me, I also don't want my children to think that my body is the only reason he loves me. When spending time with family or friends, if the television is on "for background sound" there is often attractive women and men in commercials. Many times, someone comments about how "hot" or physically attractive the actors are. What are my kids getting from those comments made to me by my husband or by others about the actors on TV? Are they hearing that our bodies are God's creation and to be shared only with our spouse?
My 3 year old is beginning to understand the concept of privacy. I have made clear to her that she needs to keep herself covered, especially when we have visitors. She still is dependent on adults to help her with toileting and bathing, so she doesn't quite grasp the idea of total privacy. And, she has spent so much time with my parents that I don't think she views them as "visitors".  Now she will tell adults to keep the door closed while she goes potty and she will call them in when she needs them. This closing of the door began after she walked in the bathroom when my mom was on the toilet. Mom let her know that she is not welcome in the bathroom while she is using it, that she needs to knock to ask permission to enter and that she needs her privacy when using the bathroom. So, a big THANK YOU to my mom who (purposely, or not) modeled modesty and the importance of privacy for my child!
Tonight I will pray for God to open my eyes to more opportunities to model modesty now and in the future in a way that is relevant to my children in each stage of their lives.

Prayers and diet

For a while this winter I decided to focus on my family's diet. I looked into gluten-free and Paleo. I felt that now that I am not working, I can truly focus on my family and the ways of "the capable wife" the Bible describes for us in Proverbs. When I read Proverbs 31 verses 27 an 30, I felt that they were where I was lacking the most. I have so many family members close by that help me just about every day with my children, and yet I was constantly feeling like my house was a mess, and nothing was getting done. Many people assured me that it is not expected of me to keep a clean, organized home with 4 children under the age of 4 years old. It may be impossible for me to keep an entirely organized home while preparing each meal, entertaining/teaching my children and finishing laundry on a daily basis. However, it seems to me that God is tugging at me, saying what I am currently doing is not my best work. Verse 27 says "She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness" (NASB). For whatever reason, I have felt like I'm taking advantage of the help available to me, rather than being proactive and figuring out how to manage things mostly on my own.
Also, in verse 30, God tells us moms that "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised". This verse made me think about all the time I was spending being idle and how much of that time could be used to learn more about God. How am I to know Him better without spending time with Him?
Anyway, back to the beginning of this post about our diet. Since I've given up Candy Crush and PapaPear, I have had more time to learn about gluten. I learned that there are multiple ways that gluten can be labeled on boxes (wheat flour, food starch, seasoning, hydrolyzed vegetable protein, natural flavors or ingredients). In talking to our doctor, even if you aren't sensitive to gluten, it still isn't good for you. He said if you take a bread, add water and feel it in your hand, it will feel slimy. That is what it does to your digestive tract. I talked to a friend about how and why her family eats primarily gluten free foods (I say primarily because they have a "cheat" day once a week). She said she noticed a huge change in her son's behavior when they took gluten out of their diet, even for just a weekend. This piqued my interest so I looked into diet and behavior. I came across information about diet and night terrors. Well, my oldest daughter has been having night terrors her whole life, it seems. She's only 3 years old, and I can remember going into her room before she could even talk to comfort her in the middle of a screaming fit when it seemed as though she were still sleeping. I never made a connection to what was causing these extreme nightmares that seemed to come once in a while and then go as quickly as they came. The last few weeks I decided to try harder to keep my children on a gluten free diet. I didn't make a big deal of it if they ate at someone's house or if someone brought over something not gluten free to share, but I didn't purchase things that contained gluten. Just fruits, veggies, and gluten free cereals for the most part. However, my husband is not on board with eating gluten free, so there continues to be things in our home that he wants that aren't gluten free. Last week, our oldest had a night terror. I hadn't noticed, but she hadn't had one in a while. I asked my husband what he had given the girls to eat that morning. He said "cereal". He had looked at his Honey Bunches of Oats box, didn't see the word gluten in the ingredients and figured it was OK to give them. Then, he had a can of soup that he had purchased, and shared it with them. One of the first ingredients was wheat flour. He was so freaked out by her night terror that night, that he has been "The Gluten Free Nazi" for his girls. Unfortunately he's still not onboard for himself, but that's a whole different post.
So, in a nutshell, I feel I am spending my time more wisely, focusing on more on being the mom/wife in Proverbs. I am continuing to educate myself about how our bodies work, what our bodies need to function properly, and how to use God's gifts in nature to feed and care for my family. In my previous book study I learned ways to pray for your children. I believe that by changing our diet and praying for good dreams, and for God to watch over my children, the night terrors have stopped. And, either I have just been in a better mood, or my child's behavior has improved during the day as well. God is good!

If you're interested in some gluten free recipes, natural remedies or options, as well as information on essential oils, you can follow my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/1stepatatimemomma  It is where I post information as I learn it, to help me become more of a natural momma one step at a time (because all at once is too overwhelming for me!) :-)