In the last year, I've very much come to realize how important it is to have a goal of being the woman in Proverbs 31. I loved the series we did at our contemporary service on the differences and roles of men and women. It was through that series that I realized how vital it is to be the "mistress of my domain", which is my home. Especially now, as a stay at home mom and wife, it is my calling to keep the house at least relatively clean, my family fed healthy meals, and to help my husband in any other way that I can.
As a perfectionist this seems so totally overwhelming. I am literally chasing 4 children around, trying to cook dinner while still cleaning up lunch and breakfast. By the end of the day, I'm more tired than the kids and often look at the pile of dishes from dinner thinking "I'll do it tomorrow". On my good nights, I'll shake it off, pull up my pants with the belly supporting panel, and get the kitchen and dining room ready for the attack of food the next morning. But there are other nights, when the floating blanket keeps coming down the stairs; under it, my daughter who thinks I can't see her if she's wearing the blanket or has her face covered with a pillow. Sometimes the kids just won't stay in bed unless I'm laying next to them. It's those nights when I fall asleep before they do in bed with them or lying on the floor next to them. I usually wake up at 2am or so, sneak out of the children's bedroom, and climb into my own bed. Sometimes I have to move the folded laundry that I was going to put away before I went to bed to the foot of the bed so they might get put away tomorrow. If there is more than one of those nights in a row, the house is a disaster. That's when the coping mechanism of my perfectionist personality comes into play. My most often used coping mechanism is avoidance. I'm so glad my grandma helps with laundry on a pretty regular basis. Even though she only does the kids' laundry, it's a huge help. And, even though she's doing the kids' laundry, I still manage to have a pile of adult laundry flowing over the hamper. Speaking of which... time to do a load! My "laundry reminder" on my phone just dinged!
Ok, I'm back! One load of laundry folded, another in the wash. Go me!
Clearly my passion is not cleaning, so it's something I have to intentionally do. I do, however, have a passion for health and wellness in my family. Last Christmas we were in the ER because my 2 yr old had a vertebral seizure and one of the twins had a much worse cough than the other kids. She was given both Mortin and Tylenol at the hospital for her fever, within less than 2 hours of each other. He was x-rayed to check for pneumonia and given antibiotics and breathing treatment for a respiratory infection. It was then that I realized my kids were sick at every holiday, either with a runny nose and cough, or fever, or stuffed up. And I noticed that it seemed to be within 2 days of being at my in-laws that these symptoms would appear. Being stressed out from having 4 constantly sick kids, I was to the point where I told my husband that there is something about his parents' house that is getting our kids sick and I was going to avoid going at all costs. Maybe it's the dogs. Maybe it's the plug-in air fresheners in every room to hide the smell of the dogs. Maybe it's the less than food we ate. I just couldn't narrow it down. Whenever the mention of going to my in-laws came up, my anxiety went through the roof.
Also at this time, I was learning about essential oils. My cousin had given some to my husband for his stuffed nose, and it cleared it up in seconds. She then told me about the oils and the business opportunity that comes with them. It was my first fall as a stay at home mom, so I was definitely thinking we were going to need some extra cash. I jumped on board, ordered my starter kit, had my mom, my aunt and my MIL purchase a kit using my member number. The next month I got a check covering the cost of my kit. I started going to classes to learn more about the oils. People talked about how they helped with all kinds of different ailments. So, when my kids got sick, I would put oils on them, maybe see some improvement, but we still ended up taking that trip to the ER on Christmas Day. I was so frustrated that I was being told all these stories of people who haven't been to the doctor in years since they started using oils, and somehow my kids were still constantly going to the doctor. What was I doing wrong?
Well, I think I may have figured it out. In the last year, we've cut out most gluten and sugar from our diets. We've also started diffusing every night in our bedrooms. My now 3 and 4 year old girls get oils on their feet as well as in their diffuser. The twins get oils in their diffuser, and only on their feet when I feel they might need an extra kick for their immune systems. Or, if their teeth seem to be bothering them, I'll put copaiba on their gums. I even took my diffusers when we stayed at my in-laws' house for the holidays. This is what I've noticed. My kids aren't really getting sick. Do they still get green boogers once in a while? Yes. However, we made it through October, November and December, all 3 months full of sugar, traveling, and usually some scary sickness, without a single trip to the ER or readymed. There was a terrible virus going around in our area where people were going days without being able to eat or even get out of bed. Something hit my house, and it was way more mild than anything I was hearing about from other people. There was some loose poop, and the oldest vomited once... in our bed, of course. But guess what... I'll take that any day over a trip to the ER.
Now it seems as though I've gotten off my 31 lady rant, but I haven't really. The "ideal woman" in the Bible not only takes care of her home, but cares for her family, helps support the family financially, and is a God fearing woman. I feel like being involved in "the oil business" is helping me and hurting me as I try to become this perfect woman. The company I am affiliated with has a founder and CEO that is a devout Christian and shares oils and oil infused products with us knowing that God gave us plants for us to maintain our health. His faith and dependency on God's direction is very motivating to me to continue growing in my faith and leaning more on God for direction. This is something the "perfect woman" does, right? These products help me care for my family using the gifts God has given us. And, I'm surrounded by a group of people who are also interested in natural Godly health and wellness. To top it all off, I have the potential to help my husband financially so he's not so stressed about money. Sounds great, except when you take into account my two weaknesses... organization and procrastination/time management.
I am so excited about these oils, how they are keeping my family healthy, and the potential to soften the financial burden on my husband, that it makes it very easy to focus on ways to share oils and focus less on maintaining my domain. Today, I committed to teaching an "Oils 101" class every Tuesday at our local library for the month of February. Hopefully it will educate some people who have no idea about essential oils, and maybe add some people to my downline. However, I'm going to have to put some extra effort in maintaining a clean and comfy home. To accommodate my time/planning/organizational deficiencies, I've decided to try a daily planner. Everything is going to be planned out. Meals. Snacks. Clean up. Naps. TV time. Everything. Then, if I put of block of time designated for my oils, maybe I'll be able to stay focused on non-oil stuff throughout the day. I might even have to schedule in phone time so I can check my Facebook, as that seems to be a huge distraction on some days as well. AND, now that this is published, maybe I'll hold myself a little more accountable to sticking with my schedule :-)
I've printed a planner template from Chaos40.com and as soon as I log out of here, I'm going to get started planning. Whoot! Maybe someday I'll have time to create a template that works more for my lifestyle, but until then, this basic "goals and appointments" type will have to do.
Pray for me to be focused and maintain focus. They say if you do something consistently for 21 days it's become a habit. Hopefully I can get this great idea to become a habit!
